- Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho... -

...it's BACK TO SCHOOL we go!  Harper is looking so forward to 1st grade [!!]; and after being out of daycare since March 2020, Scarlett is quite excited to "get back to 'cool" and make some new friends at Pre-K!  

And so!  School supply shopping for all!

 

 

 

And art shirt crafting for all! 

And back to school nights for all!  We enjoyed touring Harper's classroom, helping her unload her supplies into her very own desk [which was her first time for an individual desk since kindergarten used tables], and meeting her teacher.  This classroom looks sooo fun; can I go back to school, too?!

^^ May or may not've teared up when I read this note from Harper's teacher and saw the excitement on her face as she spread the confetti under her pillow [and was so kind to share some of it with Scarlett, too!].  The love that the teachers, faculty, and staff at STB have for the kids is overwhelming to me; I know that during the school days/in my absence, they love and cherish and honor my kids the same way I would.  This means the world, and I am soooo happy to be a part of this Bluejay family! [End sappy mom-monologue; I blame the pregnancy hormones!]

 

A few days later was the long-awaited FIRST DAY.  Harper woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and was ready to reunite with all of her old friends and tackle a brand new year.

 

Go, Harper, go!!! :) 

 

Pre-K classes started up a week later than "the big school" did, but Scarlett marched right into her back to school night and was excited to put all her supplies in the tubs and meet her teacher as well!  

 

 Annnnd a few days later was Scarlett's FIRST DAY! 

 

 

Go, Scarlett, go!!! :) 

 

So proud of these beautiful sisters as they embark on a new school year!  May your little minds be like a sponge; we pray that your eyes and ears and hearts will be open to learning tons!  FLY HIGH, little Bluejays! <3

 

 

- Baby F. #3's FIRST Cardinals Game -

After Brian scored some all-inclusive Cardinals tickets, we didn't think twice about donning our redbird garb and hitting the road to St. Louie!  The kids were not.at.all mad about the dinner buffet and unlimited dessert bar! 

 

 

BONUS PIC, because #letnothinggoundocumented:  check out all 3 babies at their first Cardinals game! I almost had to retire this white jersey for its third time around but successfully jump/squeezed into it for one last time.

To top it off, the Cardinals boasted a "W!"  It was a great family night out! :)

- Just like we say at the hospital... -

...so 37-and-something weeks deep into pregnancy, and #HEREIAM, showing up loud and proud [and L A R G E  and in charge, too] to document Baby F. #3's gestational journey!  Blogging each trimester [or even each "half" of pregnancy] turned out to be such an impossible thang to accomplish the third time around, but the lack of binge-blogging doesn't erase the rollercoaster we rode to get to this point!  Baby F. #3:  WE WANTED YOU LONG TIME!  

 

At one point during our trying to conceive journey, I came to the realization that the world totally grooms us for instant gratification [fast food! high speed internet! overnight shipping!], and my heart took a little big beating when I came to grips with the fact that God may not was not granting this little procreation + co-creation request of mine within 7-10 business days.  Shall we dance with secondary infertility for the second time?  ...WE SHALL.  

 

To recap the ride without inserting a photo copy of my entire medical record:  after a valiant effort of trying to conceive with Creighton Model alone, we knew it was time to see Dr. Puthoff [again] for infertility treatment [again].  <--- Side note [because I care about you as a human being with dignity and worth and not because I happen to be one of Dr. Puthoff's nurses or because I'm biased towards the excellent care he gives]:  if you're needing fertility help or even just craving true women's gynecologic healthcare, this is -- hands down -- the place to be!  Just text me and I'll pull some strings for you!  [END AD.]  So anyway, in the meantime of what was being diagnosed and treated and accomplished medically, I began praying novenas alongside some of my best friend prayer warriors, continued growing in faith and devotion to a few select saints, and kept trusting deep down that God would grant the desires of our hearts -- but all in His way and in His timing.  I was convinced that God wasn't shouting a straight up "no," but instead just whispering a "not yet" -- and looking back, this mentality is probably what got me through each day!  ...Juuuuust needed to find peace in waiting for His timing, because I'm definitely hard-wired as an immediate results type of gal.  .......Always easier said than done, of course!.  :) 

 

As Dr. Puthoff did more diagnostic testing and medical workup that was never done last time since I achieved pregnancy quickly after laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis, we learned more about my body and its quirks and hormone deficiencies and intricate processes. 

 

...And I fell more in love with my femininity and came to respect the beautiful way my body cycles like it cycles and does what it does.  

 

...And I trained myself to not stress [too much] about things that were completely out of my control. 

 

...And I started acupuncture [what???!  Seriously, what?  Who EVER thought lying on a table with 20 needles poking out of the body could be a pleasant experience; but in a very shocking way, acupuncture appointments became one of the most relaxing chunks of time for me where I just felt like I could be in the silence and clear my mind and pray without ceasing.].

 

...And overall, thirteen months of all this was a very humbling but cup-filling experience: remembering to enjoy the beautiful blessings that were already right in front of me in the form of Harper Cecilia and Scarlett Clare, but also craving more babies and knowing we have so much love to give to another soul that could potentially join our family.  It was a season full of surrender and learning how to depend on the Great Physician who knows how to heal my brokenness better than I know how to lay it at His feet.  The days and weeks that turned into months helped me not just to suffer through the waiting times [annnnnnd all the dreaded "2-week-waits"] but to grow through them.  If you've struggled with infertility before, you know that the desires and associated emotions that come along with it all are very much all-encompassing...so much so that sometimes it's even hard to clearly fully appreciate the rest of your beautiful and blessed life!

 

But!  With a handful of procedures + ultrasounds + cycles of letrozole ovulation induction + Pregnyl HCG triggers + a whole old-lady-pill-box-of-supplements-from-Dr.-P's-bag-of-tricks on board, a hella shocking surprise came on New Year's Day 2021... 

...and the rest is history.  <--- Hahaha, I wish. 

#letthepregnancyrollercoasterrideBEGIN

Sweet Scarlett spent the morning of her 3rd birthday with me at the lab getting pregnancy blood work drawn. ...But not because this was the routine initial HCG and progesterone levels that everyone has drawn; we were there for the third time because my HCG levels weren't rising normally.  In fact, the second draw only rose by 50%, and in all the studies Dr. P uses to diagnose a healthy intrauterine pregnancy vs. miscarriage, I'd need a 49% rise over 48 hours.

But 50% > 49%, and our embryo squeaked in 1% above the mark... And THEN the level nearly doubled between the second and third draws!  I breathed a sigh of relief for a few days, and even more sighs of relief between 6-7 weeks as the familiar nausea and vomiting of pregnancy set in.  

 

By Valentine's Day, we I had enough confidence in our sticky embryo to share the news with the grandparents and great-grandparents...

...and then made even more announcements to aunts/uncles/cousins/friends within the weeks to come!  By 9-10 weeks, the whole world could've probably guessed what was going on, because holy green-face-all-day-every-day be mine! But!  Baby was thriving, and getting these little glimpses of something we had prayed for and waited for so long shot my anxiety down several notches and launched me way over the moon each time! 

Eventually, the bebe bump appeared [or maybe I just ate too many tacos, we'll never ever know]...

...and the nausea/vomiting became less and less...

...and I started getting off the couch and putting on normal clothes for lunch dates and OB appointments and Palm Sunday + Easter Sunday Masses and everythinggggg in between!   I was 15w2d on my birthday, and that was the last day I threw up!  #MILESTONES

The nausea tapered off to basically nothing by ~17-18 weeks [IF I kept some salty food in my belly 24/7].  And around that same time, I convinced myself that all of this pregnancy business was probably a real life occurrence and I was probably going to eventually birth a new little squish for us to hold and kiss and cherish and I should probably quit holding my breath and waiting for the ball to drop.  Maybe I'm a pessimist or maybe I'm just a realist, but I grudgingly admitted to myself that the infertility hurt worse this second time around, and I just know my heart wanted to be REALLY SURE this was real before I let it leap to love.  Additionally, my OB encouraged me month after month that -- even though I've miscarried in the past, and even though I went through infertility treatments and didn't know if pregnancy would ever even happen again, and even though I'm a labor and delivery nurse and know way.too.much about way.too.many.things that could ever go wrong -- I deserve to enjoy this pregnancy, and I deserve to celebrate this healthy baby and the joy and love it would bring to our family.  She reminded me that it was, in fact, not a world record to gestate *3* healthy human beings, and that already having two healthy offspring at home is not "too much good luck" or any indication that this pregnancy should flop.  And she was so right!  She was integral in helping me shift my mindset, and my friends and family probably also dearly thank her for that. :)  So! I took her advice [even though I declined her offer for SSRIs, LOL] and calmed my jets enough that at 18 weeks, Harper and Scarlett made their big sister annoucement to the rest of the world...

 

...juuuuuuust in time for some bleeding/spotting to start! I knew it was all too good to be true...  Long story short, we found out a couple weeks later at the 20-week anatomy ultrasound that I had a low-lying placenta [likely the cause of bleeding], but baby was healthy and growing like a weed!  I was rescheduled for another ultrasound to check on the placenta several weeks later, and all had resolved.  Phew...no C-section for this third time mama!  PLUS, more peeks at baby?! Don't mind if I do! :)

From there, things just kept getting better and better!  The baby was kicking and punching and rolling like crazy and I was so calm and content; we had a great spring...

...and an even better summer!  In late May, Harper finished her last day of kindergarten, the baby hit the viability mark, and sunny vibes surrounded us. :)

 

 

^^ We rounded out the last week of my second trimester on a family vacation to Big Cedar!  The kids absolutely loved the pools and lazy river, and the baby didn't complain about the heavy dose of vitamin D, either! ;) :)

Whew this is getting way too long...

...I suppose I will cut it off here and pen a fresh post for the third trimester in all its glory!  Plus, my bladder is full, and womb service is calling for lunch!

 

So! Gonna wrap it up for now with this quote I copied down once, because I think it totally summarizes our infertility and pregnancy journey this time around:

 

"I can offer you the insight that life is waiting -- a series of waiting seasons between blessings, as God's plan for our lives unfolds one blind turn after the other.  The insight that life is waiting -- waiting for our dreams and desires, yes, but also waiting for heaven, where all that is lacking in this life and wrong with this world will be set right at last.  When God says, 'Wait,' we can only control two things:  how we wait, and who we become on the way." 

 

AMEN! 

Third trimester of { pregnancy diaries } to be continued... Stay tuned!

 

- Out of the mouth of babes: VOL XXV -

Randomly:
"Mommy, am I a grown-up?"

After visiting a local farm:
"Can animals be married?"

 

 

Randomly:
"Can you imagine having FOUR kids if that baby before me didn't die?"

 

While watching Dumbo:
"I wish we had a baby elephant as a pet, because they are sooo cute!  They really are a lot of work, though..."

 

While driving through the local college campus:
Me:  "Do you think you'll go here some day for college?"
Harper:  "No, I don't think so, because honestly I already learned everything at my school, you know."

 

 

 

At dinner:
Harper:  "I can't decide if I'm going to do swimming when I get older or gymnastics!"
Me:  "You can do both!"
Harper:  "No, Mom... I'm talking about which one I'd do in the Olympics!"

While watching the hurdlers' interview during the Olympics:
"Why are they sweating?  They didn't run THAT far..."

While watching more Olympics:
Harper:  "When I get a boyfriend, I'm gonna ask him to cut his armpit hairs off."
Me:  "Oh you don't like armpit hair?"
Harper:  "No!  It's totally disgusting!"

After a shower one night:
Harper:  "Mom, do they have to see your belly and vagina at the hospital when the baby comes out?"
Me:  "Not sure." ..... 

 

One Saturday morning:
Me:  "After this game of Uno, do you want to go downstairs with me and find the box of baby blankets so we can wash some up for the baby?"
Harper:  "No, not really, because it will probably just spit up on them.  Why can't you just glue the baby's mouth shut or something?"
Me:  .....

 

While watching The Bachelorette:
Harper:  "Mom, quit pausing the show!"
Me:  "Well this isn't really a show for kids."
Harper:  "Why isn't it a show for kids?"
Scarlett:  "BECAUSE, Hawpie... Kids can't have boyfwiends!"

 

 

While watching 101 Dalmatians:
Harper:  "Do dogs only have babies if they get married first?"
Me:  "I'm not sure.  I don't really think dogs get married..."
Harper:  "Well they CAN, if there's one girl and one boy."
Me:  "Oh..........yeah maybe so..."

After school:
"____ [boy she's friends with] is about as tall as Scarlett, but he SAYS he's 7...  But he only goes up to about my chin, anyway..."

Inside Aldi, loudly [as I'm 36w pregnant]:
"OH, do we need to buy more alcohol?  You know the one you always like and runned out of?"

Randomly:
Harper: "Are you going to keep the baby or give it away?"
Me:  "Keep it!!! Why?  Do you want to give it away?"
Harper:  "No, well I was just wondering since you already have two childs who don't really listen a lot."