- Back in the swing of thangs... -

...and swinging oh so hard and fast! 

 GOSHHHH it's been a minute or ten since I've posted here; and truly, I don't even know where to begin!  Life has been hap-hap-HAPPENIN' at its normal pace of: way.too.fast, and I'm kinda sorta maybe definitely just clingin' on for the joy ride.  I was ready for a big *siiiigh* long breath of relaxation and peace once the big kids started back into school in mid-August [because did I mention the summer got a little long? ...a little full of bickering and nit-picking and arguing? ...a little too drawn out in terms of not having enough structured activities planned on the daily and some family members -- including but not limited to ME -- nearly going off the deep end a time or two? ...NO! Of course I didn't mention that, because the last post I penned about our life events aside from "back to school" was posted in mid-July!]; but, so far we're rat-racing right along through December and I'm still waiting for said coveted breath. 

I digresssssss. 

Through the organized chaos of the past spring, summer AND fall, I have gone through a spiritual conversion [of sorts, to be explained in more detail in a future post] and then a spiritual crisis [again, "of sorts" and to be explained in VERY MUCH detail in a future post maybe written by 2025], and then just a settling of the soul with the "little way" of St. Thérèse of Lisieux as the goal.  Through this series of life events combined with one very intimate session of spiritual direction with a priest, I've come to realize that the "little things" ARE the big things!  This season/"era" of family life is so important, and if I don't get this portion right RIGHT.NOW, then nothing else matters. There are approximately 16.2 minutes of Juliette's nap time/Mommy's alone time left today, so I'mma leave this post with photos of a few of the things that have made me smile lately/since my last blog post ~5 months ago: 

- relaxing on the beach during family vacation in Michigan a couple of weeks before school started:

- renting an old dairy barn with my very best college friends and their families for the second half of said family vacation ^^:

- enjoying the last bitty bit of warm summer nights:

- visiting the greatest "great" grandmas:

- praying the rosary as a family before bedtime:

- having unexpected weekday breakfast dates:

-watching the big girls teach Juliette how to ride their old balance bike:

- volunteering at 3rd grade school library:

- cheering on our favorite soccer players on Saturday mornings:

- teaching the big girls to sew:

- celebrating Brian's parents' 50th wedding anniversary: 

- attending the parish Blue Tie Ball with the best friends: 

 

- growing my Etsy shop/small biz:

- celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary: 

 

- watching Harper in her first ever season of volleyball:

- getting a head start on Christmas shopping the day before Thanksgiving: 

- and lastly, tucking in this crew each night [sometimes usually after some very long days and VERY TRYING bedtime routines]...

...and knowing all the while, again, that the "little things" ARE the big things!  These moments aren't always easy, but I know all too well that they are fleeting and precious; and I want to soak them all up and treasure them forever!  

And so! Maybe I'll be back to tell you how our Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas and everything in between was, or maybe I won't... But if not, it's 'cause I'm busy loving hard and savoring each and every "little thing" as it comes!!! 

- Let Love Win -

Every time tragedy strikes, I become a prisoner of my own mind.  

During the day, I'm full of sadness and empathy; I read every interview, testimony, and news report I can find online to get details from all angles of the story. I put myself in the shoes of the victims ...or at least in the shoes of the victims' families, constantly wondering what I would've done or said in the moment and also trying to imagine how I would ever find the strength to pick up all the broken pieces and start putting my life back together in the days and weeks to come.  This stuff we're living through right now is heavy.  Whether miles or hours or states away, these events are not isolated.  They rock us to our cores.  The human heart was made for Love, and when senseless evil occurs it really changes our views of the world ...of other people ...of ourselves ...and maybe even of our purpose here. 

When the sun sets and nighttime falls, I switch gears and become full of worry and anger.  There's something about the darkness that encourages fear to fester.  I lie in bed and rake my mind over and over and OVER the coals just trying to get a grasp on how we've spiraled downward into who we are.  Not just America as a country, but the human race as a whole.  Who have we become?  ...How have we strayed so far from the people we were created to be?  Also!  How can we protect our babies from this insanity?  ...We can't keep them under our wings in a completely protected nest forever.  Will things get worse?  Have I already failed my babies?  Will they ever be safe outside our home?

Last night, my mind was going one hundred miles per hour and randomly came to a screeching stop when I remembered I had this blurb saved on my phone.  I originally saved it from a Facebook post that my friend Jamie shared a few years back, and I find so much comfort in reading it every now and then when I feel like -- despite our deepest desires to foster a safe and loving environment for our children to grow up in -- the world has ultimately failed our babies:

_____

"Don't feel sorry for or fear for your kids because they world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be. 

God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they're in.  Their life wasn't a coincidence or an accident.

Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God. 

Train them up in the authority of his Word. 

Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.

Empower them to know they can change the world. 

Don't teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it. 

Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God's sovereign plan. 

He knew Daniel could handle the lion's den.
He knew David could handle Goliath.
He knew Esther could handle Haman.
He knew Peter could handle persecution.
He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life.  He created them specifically for it!

Don't be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose YOU to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime. 

Rise up to the challenge.

Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers, and Peters!

God isn't scratching his head wondering what He's going to do with this mess of a world.

He has an army He's raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth. 

Don't let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them.  I know it's hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this." 

~ Alex Cravens

_____

"They were born as such a time as this."  While I often feel so hopeless in being able to change the world, that blurb always gives me goosebumps and brings me back to a clearer focus.  And while a ton of my friends on social media have been hating on the "thoughts and prayers"...you know, this post: 

...I have to say, I disagree.  Of course policy and change is a must, but so are thoughts and prayers.  Love casts out fear, and love is the essence and vocation of the human heart.  If we dial it back down to the basics and work really really really hard to build up a strong foundation of love for ourselves ...for our families ...for others also in the Body of Christ, I think the policy and change would come naturally whether our politicians choose to intervene or not.

So #BRB while my babies and I are down on our knees praying for the victims and victims' families -- and even the gunman and the gunman's family -- of the latest school shooting.  BRB while we allow our hearts love as they were created to do.  BRB while I continue to show them that love casts out fear.  BRB while we take it back to the basics and start building up a super strong foundation of love for others.  BRB while I empower them to know they can change the world.  BRB while they grow and flourish and rise up to the challenge, because they know they were born for such a time as this.

My very deepest desire is that all of you reading this also feel inspired to rise up to the challenge of raising Daniels, Davids, Esthers, and Peters!  ...For surely if we dust off our hearts' vocations, uncover true love, and therefore let Love shine, we will become the army placed here to drive back the darkness.

We were born for such a time as this.  

Let's let Love win!!!

- COVID Diaries: Week 26 -

I meannnn, is this even real life?  ...COVID Diaries:  WEEK 26??!????!?!  I remember the start of the hype back March 2020 like it was yesterday; and to think, at that time, I truly believed that if we all sheltered-in x 2 weeks and all followed the social distancing recommendations and alllllll played our part in slowing the spread of COVID-19, the pandemic would come quickly ...and peak quickly ...and leave quickly ...and life would be back to normal as we knew it in the blink of an eye...

...but 26 blinks weeks later, and here we are...

 ...still totally crazy and still 100% NOT in control of this wild life we live!

As outlined in previous posts, the end of summer break was so much fun around here; but hot danggg, August was a MONTH!  After the excitement of running around getting everything prepared for Harper to start kindergarten, it took a few weeks for all of us to adjust to her new "Monday through Friday" schedule.  On top of all the emotions surrounding that, work has been INSANELY stupid busy [why is there a baby boom every year between July - September?!?]; and with a few health care appointments being canceled earlier this year due to COVID, everythingggg on my "yearly to-do" list somehow got scheduled into this month.  Between a routine dental cleaning, fertility blood work, pelvic ultrasounds, eye exam, annual well woman visit, diagnostic mammogram [!!], breast ultrasound, and more blood workkkk, I've literally been bouncing back and forth between being poked and prodded here, there, and everywhere.  I'm totally waiting for my insurance company to call and be like, "WHY YOU NO USE YOUR INSURANCE FROM JANUARY THROUGH JULY AND THEN SEND 38 CLAIMS THROUGH IN AUGUST?!??"  On August 31, I got my flu shot [which basically paralyzed my left arm for a solid couple of days] and started my period [which was not on my deisred "to-do list" if you're picking up what I'm laying down]...

...so good-freaking-bye, August...

...and hellooooo, September!  I'm so ready for a big 'ole reset this month!  I listened to a little podcast on the way to work yesterday about God being steadfast in love and infinite in mercy, and I wholeheartedly believe that His plan is perfect and will all unfold beautifully in due time.  Jesus, take the wheel!  Despite the extra noise and chaos, September is MY MONTH; I'm gonna take it by the horns and love myself a little extra through the ride. :)))

 

- December, gahhhhhhh... -

Between going to Disney [!!!]...

...moving in to the new house two days after we returned from Disney...

...taking care of both kiddos who caught the bronchiolitis bug...

...carving out time for Christmas parties and Pre-K program and other holiday festivities...

...celebrating Brian's birthday...

...celebrating Christmas...

...throwing Scarlett's birthday party...

...hosting a New Year's Eve get-together at our house...

...oh, and working a few days/week + a few weekends here and there... 

.................looking back on the entire month of December has me like:

Stay tuned for so many more posts to come, because today I claimed *TWO* full hours for myself -- AKA 2 hours to sit back and sip coffee and collect photos and decompress and gather my thoughts so I can transfer them here.  December was a lot....

So cheers to taking a big [and very-much-needed] breather!  Whew!  What a month.

- Night terrors who? ...the #mompost of all #momposts... -

...and a fugly feather-tossled pigeon with some seriously discolored/baggy eyes, at that. Humph. We've been having some serious night terrors in 'dis house...

...and I'm not talking about the sleep disorder that causes one to wake up in a cold sweat.

I'm talking about this:

noun: night terrors:  TWO weasels who want to bed-share and WON'T SLEEP A WINK. 

Though they be cute, they be TERRIBLY DIFFICULT at bedtime!!! We take full credit for Harper's issues; we ruined her at a young age by letting her stay up stupidly late hoping, in turn, she would sleep in later in the morning... I was on night shift back then and didn't want to rise and shine at 6:00 in the A to the M like most normal moms do. Our plan worked, but she has since remained a night owl [never interested in settling down in her bed before 9:30pm, sometimes 10-10:30pm!] and it's spiraled out of control during this maternity leave. There's a clear problem when the adults are yawning and ready for bed and the toddler is still running around full speed ahead ...NOT to mention that Brian and I never ever have alone/adult time in the evenings because Harper stays up so late and we immediately collapse into our bed and pass out as soon as we finally get her to sleep.  And Scarlett can't help it, but she's entering the fussy stage and the witching hour is ...put nicely, just, "very witchy!" The pediatrician told me that most babies get gassy between 1-2 months and will usually get fussy at the same time every day [which for her seems to be 6pm until bedtime, ugh!].  Add these issues to the fact that Brian travels overnight for work, and ...#zomg.  Momma can't hang.  He was gone for three consecutive nights last week, and after the first night I lost my sh*t and packed our entire house up for a three-day staycation/sleepover at Grammy and Papa's:

^^ ...which of course, the girls loved!  Scarlett was initially unsure of her sleeping arrangements, but she made due.  But even at Grammy and Papa's, night time was a sheer disaster and my mom and I ended up 1:1 with the kids because #oh #em #geeeeeeeee. Started the "bedtime process" at 9:00 and at 11:39pm both rats were still awake and melting down.  How/why does this happen???

THAT WAS IT!  The late bedtime was all fun and games with one kiddo, but I/we cannot function like this with the twin terrors! Brian will be traveling again [more frequently than I'd like] and I'll be back to work next month; I can't pack us up and move into Grammy and Papa's for three days every time I'm stuck as the solo parent... 

Something must change!!!  And very very soon, at that.

I spewed out all these issues in dramatic detail and hashed out our noobish non-routine with my friend, Shannon, who is a unicorn of a parent and has her kids both tucked into bed and sleeping no later than 7:30pm every night [whoa! I literally can't even imagine that bliss...]. She gave me some great tips, and Brian and I easily agreed that we needed to initiate "BEDTIME BOOTCAMP" immediately. Long story short, we've held our ground for one full week and, overall, it seems to be working pretty well...

...so well that Scarlett's been knocked out in her Pack 'n Play by 8pm every night and Harper snoring in her bed by 9pm.  We've tweaked nap time and added in a rewards system for the next day if the new rules are followed. Scarlett's been cake and Harper's a work in progress!  Brian and I watched a TV show together in total peace and quiet the other night, and I said, "Wow, the house is eerily quiet!" to which Brian responded, "I know... It's almost like they're gone...!" 

Word. 

Annnnnd omg, HOLY MOM POST!  I just read back through that and even I'm depressed that I stooped low enough to barf a post about the bedtime routine.......
 
...so let's cut this off before I stoop even lower.

Subject change to redeem myself:  56 degrees today! Time for a family stroll through the neighborhood! Vitamin D for you and you and you!  Springtime sunshine, please stay!

Bye now! 


 

- The longest and most random and worst post EVER! -

Oy, oy, oyyyyy, it's been a bitty bit since I've checked in here [but really, no surprise; just another one of my hallmark rounds of binging then backing off, right?]!

Every hiatus eventually ends with a set of piss-poor excuses, but I think these are slightly above par for my typical run-of-the-mill reasons:

+ We're just really reveling in day-to-day life with our super fun, always adventurous TWO year old! She's a busy little bee and keeps us on our toes!

+We bought a subdivision lot! [Cue millions of exclamation points!!!!!! We're ditching our mini-house sort of soon!] ...And so therefore, I've been working some extra weekend shifts to pay that sucker down! $$$ #missinginaction and #noonecares but #dolladollabills

+ Life in general [two-year-old shenanigans aside] is just full speed ahead, and we have pics! pics! and MORE PICS! to prove it! :) 

A'ight, cool... As the title of the post foreshadows, I'm pretty sure this will be the longest and most random and worst post ever, but hang tight and let me just satisfy myself by catching up the blog our life's diary in 3.78 minutes with 541 photos:

A few days after the big birthday fiesta finished, we scribbled out Harper's birthday thank yous [I know these are cards that only a mother could love, but naturally...I ADORE THEM!]...

...and also got a glowing report from the pediatrician at her 2-year well child visit!  Little Miss weighs 28lb, 12oz and stands 36.5 inches tall; a lot of personality in a tiny little body! Doc said she's perfect, but of courseee we already knew that. ;) :)

Sometimesss we try our luck with a "sleep-in Saturday" trick, but nope! Neva neva neva.

Oh, here's where our future house will stand...............(!!!)...

...and meanwhile while we are away rubbernecking our new property, all the animals are back at the mini-house coloring with Crayolas and taking naps in full wardrobes jussssst as Harper instructed them to do.  I love Harper's imagination sooo much!

Every once in a while, Harper has her BFF/cousin Kate over to play...

...and when Kate isn't around, baby cousin Van quickly fills the void.

Oh yeah, Van got baptized last weekend, and Brian is his Godfather!  Welcome to God's family, little man!

[[Back to Kate: happy [very belated] birthday, sweet princess!!!]]

Aside from all those parties and celebrations ^^, we've been humoring ourselves on the postage stamp lawn with new landscaping projects...

...and chalk murals...

...and garage cleanouts/machinery fixes.  Like Dada like daughter, no?

BASICALLY, we're just letting this little toddler rule/run the house and are sitting back and enjoying the ride! ;) :) 

 Wow......that was even more awful than I first thought it would be...  Peel your eyelids back open and hope for better luck when I check back in next month!

Bye now.  :-*

- Oh Mister Sun, Sun, Mister Golden Sun... -

...Pleaseeeeeee shine down on me! 

SOME-BUDDY 'SPLAIN THIS:

A couple weekends ago, the weatherman warned 'bout 'dis doomsday ice storm that was fastly and furiously headed our way.  All of our favorite TV shows were recurrently interrupted with new and improved updates, and everyone was instructed to stay off the roads for days on end because it was supposed to be rulllll bad.  Our young-spirited, brave-hearted, daredevil, invincible days are long gone [which is just a natural part of progressing into parenthood, I suppose], so of course we nicely heeded the warning and spent a few days on lockdown making paper snowflakes to decorate the windows [that's the spirit!] and rearranging snowman window clings for hours on end...

...and dreaming up/drawing up future house plans and constructing models of said plans...

...and baking muffins, cutting each others fingernails and toenails, having way too much screen time with the best Christmas gift there ever was... 

...AND doing a multitude of other things including [but not limited to] brewing extra large pots of coffee,  grilling dinner indoors, making messes, washing every piece of dirty laundry in the house, and driving each other mildly insane [because HOW MUCH LONGA WE GOTTA STAY INSIDE???].

[Did I forget anything? Surely not.]

THE EXPLANATION IS THIS: ICE AGE TWENTY-SEVENTEEN [And I'm a fair-weathered friend in its most literal meaning so I ain't a happy mama.]

But thennnn, turns out the "ice" wasn't too bad after all [another false alarm from the weatherman?!], and we quickly worked up the courage to step foot into the sub-zero temperatures [more like ~25 degrees but same diff because anything below 50 is sub-zero in my book]. To-do list included: 1) loading up three carts at the grocery store and 2) Sunday evening Mass and.........and then right back to the warm house to don our fleece PJs and get on with our nightly snuggle sesh.

A one-hour Mass was good for the soul [you pickin' up what I'm layin' down?], but the cold days and cabin fever raged on .a.l.l...w.e.e.k...l.o.n.g. and right when I was about to bust out of the nuthouse and dash to Target to purchase Antarctica-approved snowsuits for the fam....................

...God heard my psychotic pleading and sent a little blessing in the form of 60 DEGREES AND SUNSHINE!!!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, amennnnnnn! Helloooooo, sweet bliss!  Hello, park!

Side note:
THE REAL EXPLANATION MUST BE THIS: GLOBAL WARMING [...Which I know to be true because I Googled it and also because it's T-shirt weather in February and what other explanation could there be?]

...But actually, I'mma leave that right there because I don't dare argue with geography or politics ...or God forbid a combination of the two... ;) :) So, real or not, alllllz I'm sayin' is that I'm just rull happy for this unexpected, giant dose of Vitamin D.  Because who doesn't love the typical February morning, outside at the crack of dawn with no coat or mittens:

...and then a nap before heading off to the park again?! #yesplease

[Spotted: airplane!]

^^ Big smiles for days!!! I'll probably be eating my words come July when we're melting in the sun, but for now we're gonna soak up all 'dem rays!

Enough rambling... Baby Bear's just waking up from her nap, so it's time to wrap it up and hit up the great outdoors!!! *party emoji*

Oh Mister Sun, Sun, Mister Golden Sun...

...please shine down on, please shine down on, please shine down on meeeeeeeee!