- WINTER SEMESTER -

DEAR DIARY, 

I'm officially the worst of the worst, letting time flicker by here and flash by there.  I fast forward to 50 years from now and see myself as an old, wrinkly grandma in a padded rocking chair.  I rock there alone in the peace and quiet, reminiscing on this beautiful life and so badly wanting to revisit every precious moment of raising a young family. Although I will forever have my favorite memories filed deep inside a folder at the very very back of my brain, I'm also afflicted with a mediocre memory that cannot recall all of the little moments and recount all of the small joys.  But then!  I remember that I penned this post one day, long ago, through tired eyes; and my heart is happy, because memories of my family are timeless here. 

And that, my friends, is what this is all about.  Documenting, archiving, preserving the smallest yet most innocent and beautiful family moments that will surely slip my mind in the days and weeks and years to come as my sweet babies continue to grow up and replace the "folder of memories" in the FRONT of my brain with bigger and better and more exciting milestones along the way.  I'm showing up today because I'm keeping the promise to myself [the promise I droned on about a few weeks back in this [way too sappy and sentimental of a] post], but showing up proves to me that I MEANT IT so hard! And so!  This is a post for me and my future old, wrinkly grandma self.

Signed,
Mommy B

*****

Ahem! In normal "catch up" fashion: a collection of random thoughts and photos that have escaped all other holiday/birthday blogs from January - May 2022!  

Claps for a supa' dupa' "winter semester!"

And cheers to:

-- modeling carseat cozies for our neighbor's sewing business!

-- and catching up with a long lost friend!

-- and ice skating with cousins! 

 

-- and Wacky Wednesdays for the little girls and dinner dates with Mom for the big girl!

 

-- and celebrating Emma's 2nd birthday!  

-- and Sunday afternoon napping!

-- and completing 100 days of school!

 

-- and reading books/watching TV fireside! 

 

-- and having snow days!

-- and building Nugget forts with friends! 

-- and dressing in "two" of everything for TWO-sday, 2/22/22!

 

-- and showing sweet AND silly sides! 

-- and rolling through Tot Skate!

 

-- and loving sisterhood! 

-- and baking!

-- and playing Clue on Friday nights!

 

-- and joining the YMCA/hitting up After-School-Skate!

-- and enjoying the park on a random warm-ish day!

-- and trying not to let the baby grow up!

-- and roasting marshmallows/making s'mores inside the house!

 

-- and shopping/serenading the neighboorhood!

-- and twinning [or is this triplet-ing?]!

-- and snuggling [always]!

-- and collecting food samples/snack bar items at Sams!

 

-- and sleep training!

-- and going on surprise lunch dates with Papa!

 

-- and shopping [some more]!

 

-- and HOLDING EACH OTHER TIGHT AND NEVER LETTING GO!

And just like that.....winter semester earned a great big "A+!" and we're excitedly headed -- full speed ahead! -- into summer! :-* :-*

- Because TIME FLIES... -

Wow!  I just scrolled back through months' worth of posts, and I FOR REAL cannot even wrap my mind around how time just   f l i e s   right on by! Blink for 0.03 of a second, and *POOF*, it's Friday; blink again for another 0.03 of a second and *POOF*, it's April.  Oh!, you have a newborn baby that you want to snuggle every tiny inch of?  Blink and *POOF*, she's seven months old and sitting up and playing in a pile of toys all by herself.  Your oldest daughter went into 1st grade knowing about 50 sight words and so eager to learn more?  Blink and *POOF*, she's snuggled up in her top bunk bed reading Junie B. Jones chapter books all by herself.  You have a 4-going-on-14-year-old daughter who was juuuust learning to use scissors and glue not that long ago?  Blink and *POOF*, she's spotted at the dining room table with scissors, glitter glue pens, pipe cleaners, pom poms, and a random stash of other craft supplies that she's molded into the perfect masterpiece all by herself.  

A very large part of my momma heart loves seeing my babies learn and grow and become more accomplished and independent each day; but, another -- probably equally as large -- part just aches at the way time continues to *POOF* on by in the blink of an eye!  While my brain tells me to teach them more so they can survive without me, my heart tells me to cling to these special days when they truly do still need me!  ...Whiiiiiiiich is the reason why I absolutely love to use this blog as archive for even the smallest things that we do!  The days can be long, but the years are OH SO short; and when the days turn to years and the years turn to decades, these beautiful babies of ours will grow their wings and fly the nest and I just know I'll LOVE having a collection of little memories waiting here in this safe space to look back on and smile at.

...But therein lies the next problem!  After scrolling back through pages and pages of posts, I see a birthday memoir here ...a month-by-month milestone there ...a Scarlett-isms blurb here ...and a rare holiday chronicle there.  And it kind of makes me sad, because I know these fun events are just small drops in the large bucket of joys we share inside our home from day-to-day life.

And, TBH, I want to remember all the joys.  The smallest of joys, the biggest of joys, and even the mediocre and in-between and not-all-THAT-special of joys.

AND SO!  I'm making a few promises to myself:

...a promise to try harder with blogging...

...a promise to prioritize collecting photos and putting pen to paper more frequently...

...a promise to increase in writing with a little more rawness and detail and emotion so I can always come back here and remember in full detail what are sure to be the very best days of my life.

Time might fly, but I'mma make sure that the memories we've made won't fade!

- Quarantine Lyfe -

LATE ENTRY [yet always better late than never]:

Is it Thursday or Monday or 10am or 6pm?! ...WE HAVE NO IDEA; but fortunately, it doesn't really matter when the entire family is on quarantine for days weeks on end!  After Brian came down with some SEVERE fatigue and nasty congestion in early October and subsequently tested positive for COVID, we were issued a very official quarantine letter from the IDPH and the 14-day Fleming family lockdown began.  I thought it would be prudent to test the rest of us several days after his positive test; Harper came back positive also and later developed mild congestion, but all the rest of us were negative [even though Brian held Juliette for hours the day his symptoms began and and then slept with Scarlett in her bed that same night...?!? SUCH A WEIRD VIRUS, I swear.].  ANYWAY.....staying cooped up together for 14 days in a row made us a litttttle stir crazy and had us lookin' a lot like:

Bleh, woof!  [Before everyone goes throwing some judgy judgment this way, let me just say that, even though we found out halfway through quarantine that Harper was positive, there was absolutely NO WAY POSSIBLE to be the only functioning parent in the household and to keep the two older kids separated from each other!  ...And at that point, they had already been on top of each other for a week and 'twas what it was.  I'm so thankful it all panned out ok!]  

ANYWAY.

I love this family so hard, but I also look back on this time and -- NOT TO TOOT MY HORN OR ANYTHING -- still wonder how I made it through.  Between the homeschooling x 2 and all the homework assignments that came along with that, scheduling/attending Zoom calls with the school to administer Harper's missed tests, totally entertaining two stir crazy children who couldn't leave the house PLUS nursing/caring for a 6-week old infant who was 100% dependent on her momma, I somehow still had to scrape up the energy to get three meals on the table each day [plus provide 30 snacks in between] and then find the patience to get everyone bathed and off to bed.  And then dishes!  Laundry!  Tidying up the toy tornado that tore through the house!  Single parents:  I salute you so hard.  Admittedly, there were VERY MANY uncharitable thoughts made towards poor Brian as Juliette was crying for milk and Scarlett was skipping around the kitchen singing at the top of her lungs and Harper was beg/yelling OVER both Juliette and Scarlett because she needed help with her homework day after day after day and zomggggg; glancing over to the couch amidst all the constant chaos to catch yet another glimpse of dear hubby PTFO for approximately 23 hours of every single day was just a liiiiittle too much at times [but rest easy, I only regretted my vows to love him in sickness and in health about 6 times, which is not too shabby, considering.........].  During the 2-week ordeal, we only left the house one time; and that was to load up in the van and pull up to the Walgreens drive-thru to swab ourselves for COVID.  God bless the handful of sweet souls who dropped dinners on our porch and also my literal saint of a mother who brought a few pots of soup AND a "busy bucket" full of new games and crafts and books for the older girls to peruse [and then sat with them on the porch -- social distanced and with a mask on, of course -- just so I could sit inside and stare at the wall in silence for 15 whole minutes. L to the O to the LLL.]. 

Long story short:  COVID, you're the worst. 

But minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days, and somehow -- likely only by the grace of God -- we made it through and were all released just a few days before Halloween!  I'm still waiting on my blue ribbon and/or gold crown for keeping the family afloat, but hey...maybe some day. :)

FATHER, SON, AND HOLY SPIRIT........amen.  [...But seriously, any time on that buffet breakfast, pal!]

- Wake me up... -

.....when September endssss!

 OH WAIT!

The entire month has already ended, and we haven't even slept enough yet to be woken up! ;) :) 

Wompity womp womp.  

...I complain about no sleep in the most lovingly of loving ways, of course, but FUR REAL:

  

It's just real glam.

On September 2, we were discharged home from hospital, and life has been a "Haakaa-on-one-boob-and-baby-on-the-other" + "burp-towel-in-one-hand-and-coffee-in-the-other" type of hoppity hop hoppin' good time ever since!  If the first month postpartum isn't THE MOST bittersweet time, I don't know what is!  Despite horrid breast engorgement and severe sleep deprivation and alllll 'da other postpartum funsies, it's still so surreal and pretty perfect to have this tiny miracle in our arms after wishing and waiting for so long!  WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, J!  You are the .real. .deal. !

The day after we arrived home was Juliette's first pediatrician visit [and what could possibly change and/or go wrong with this tiny human in the <24 hours between her full assessment by the hospital's attending pediatrician and her first visit with our private pediatrician?! 'Tis a mystery.].  She checked out A-OK and had her big sister/body guard just inches from her at all times.

Then!  The day after THAT was Brian's annual family reunion.  I stayed home to steal some snuggles from Juliette but enjoyed a few photo updates sent from aunts and sisters-in-law.  The kids had a great time at the reunion and parade and were thrilled to show me their souvenirs/winnings from the carnival the next day.  What's better than a group of crazy Croatian cousins?!  Nothing!

A horrible night of sleep with Juliette + a rainy Sunday morning followed the family reunion.  I woke up around 6am [after just finishing nursing at 5am!] to some strange crinkling noises coming from kitchen.  Knowing our beloved middle child is the morning rooster AND a clean freak, I considered that maybeeee Scarlett was wadding/cleaning up a tissue paper mess from a baby gift that the kids had opened the night before.  ...But nope!  I forced myself out of bed ~20 minutes later to find that the cherub was watching YouTube + indulging in a yellow bag of her parade candy.  [Can't say the apple falls far from the tree; but how does she learn these horrible habits at the tender age of 3???]

After a legit [non-chocolate] breakfast, Scarlett and I braved the pop-up rain showers to storm around town and shop for clothes for family/newborn pictures.  [...You'd think by the third time around, I'd have this photo wardrobe sitch ironed out BEFORE the baby's arrival; but nope nope nope, that would make things way too easy!]  Scarlett immediately spotted the 'Tarbucks store inside Target and was a great shopping buddy after downing her "hot shocka' milk."

On September 7, we were back to the pediatrician's office for our little pal's weight check...

...and then September 8 was the long-awaited family photo session!  [Sending so much love to EDA Photography and this sweet human right here who made all of it a breeze.  You are wonderful in so many ways, Daven!  Thank you!!!]

^^ Juliette behaved so well for photos that we rewarded her with chips, salsa, and margs [light on the margs]. Cheers to La Casa and J's very first dining out experience!  

.....THEN!  With the first week of postpartum tucked safely under our belly belts, I breathed a deep sigh of relief that we made it through seven full days of busyness and subsequently let the rest of the month slide.  Not sure what happened and when it all went down, BUT!  Sometime in September, Scarlett conned me into giving her her first haircut on the kitchen counter [because she really wanted it trimmed but claimed she was scared of the hair-washing bowl at the salon...]...

 

...annnnnnd we gave Juliette her first real [non-sponge] bath!  She absolutely hated it; luckily the big girls loved it.

Over a 10-day span in mid-September, Juliette and I made two treks back to the hospital's outpatient lactation services department.  Let's just say:  shallow latch and cracked nipples.  You'd ALSO think I'd have this breastfeeding situation mastered by the third time around, but again, nope nope nope.  As the pain got worse and the wounds got deeper, I swallowed my "third time around the block" pride and admitted it was time to revisit the lactation consultants who had helped me succeed in the past.  Annnnd they did it again!  After assessing us twice in person and offering lots of little tips and tweaks each time, they helped me re-train the barracuda baby so that I slowly but successfully dropped my habit of counting to 3 before holding my breath and allowing her to latch.  God bless those lactation angelssss; I know they will have VERY large crowns in heaven!!! 

...Went off on a little tangent up there ^^ but mostly MEANT TO SAY:  on the way to our first lactation appointment, we detoured up the street to see my co-workers at Veritas!  These ladies loved me through the ups and downs of infertility and a lot of my most vulnerable moments, and it was so perfect to see Juliette here in the flesh and in their arms.  I love you guys!!!

Back on the homefront, people were spewing out of the woodworks with flowers and gifts and dinners, OH MY.  All of it was so so appreciated; I am truly amazed at all the kindness and generosity shown to us during our first several weeks at home!  Thank you all!!!

Amidst all the newness of having a fifth family member and all the disruptions in routine and sleep, the older girls continued to knock it out of the park at school.  Harper is thriving in 1st grade and Scarlett soaring through Pre-K 3.  We are so proud of them and the work they bring home!!!

 

One morning during Community Helpers week, I visited Scarlett's class to talk about being a nurse.  We read a book about nurses helping others and then showed a stethoscope and baby doll to demonstrate some of the things I do at work.  ...I decided to hone in on "care of a newborn" instead of diving into the portions of my job that deal with fertility/infertility/helping women get babies IN the uterus and/or the portions of my job that deal with labor/delivery/helping women get babies OUT of the uterus.  I'm sure the teacher was happy with my decision. ;) :) 

Since Scarlett only goes to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I try supa' dupa' hard to keep her creativity flowing at home on her days off!  Crafting and Cricut-ing and chocolate-donut-eating are our favorite days!

 

She's also enjoyed attending Kindermusik at the local children's museum on Monday mornings...

...and dancing the morning away at ballet/tap/tumbling class on Wednesday mornings! 

 

 

But enough about Scarlett; back to Juliette!  Little Miss scored herself some Godparents and has her baptism scheduled for this upcoming weekend.  We cannot wait!

 

And enough about Juliette; back to the family!  All five of us attended our subdivision's annual BBQ in the common space... 

...and also the balloon glow in a town nearby!  We randomly ran into many friends there, and Scarlett was also excited to see her Pre-K teacher working the Cakewalk tent...

...and she even won a cake! LOL!  

During the evenings and on weekends, Brian has been working tirelessly at throwing together these bunk beds for the older girls [and he assures me they'll be done before Christmas...]... 

...and the older girls have done exceptionally well with entertaining themselves while I attend to Juliette and her cluster feeding demands.  If you're looking for a real legit baby-wipe-facial, Scarlett and Harper running a special for the rest of this month.  The little sister on the right received hers; how does her skin look?! ;)

 

Ugh, I'm blabbing on and on.  But LONG STORY SHORT:  we started out this month just hoping to survive, but as the days go on, we're really learning how to thrive!  The big sisters are so in love with the baby sister, and I totally think the feeling is mutual.  My heart just melts into a giant puddle when I see everyone loving each other so well!  We've enjoyed sharing her with the grandparents and a few other select/special visitors so far but are really keeping her tucked under our wings for the time being with all the germs swirling around in the outside world.  We hope you feel the love and can enjoy her through these photos [for now]!

Cheers to September...

...and ON TO OCTOBER!!! :)