- 5am name draw + saying "YES!" to Lenten musings -

So it's 5:58 in the marn-ing and here I am wide-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Sometimes at work when the census is low and it gets really slow, they put everyone's name in a hat and let a few lucky nurses leave before the dreaded zombie apocalypse/shift change that is 7:30am.  And usually people jump on the opportunity, because ... who wants to be awake at 8am when you can be home and snuggled in bed by 6am? ...Exactly. 

That magical name draw just happened in the wee hours of the morning and that lucky nurse was me me me and ... now here I sit with coffee jitters and a blinking cursor and a huge slice of apple pie. [Coffee jitters because I drank a cup riiiiight before that blessed name draw; darn the luck. A blinking cursor because I realized how lamesie-lamesauce my blog has become and how unoriginal and boring of a writer I am; working on improving this stat but obvi it will be in baby steps. Pie because technically today is still my FAT TUESDAY, and be assured this big-booty Judy would not miss one iota of a second of a day that celebrates and idolizes scarfing/inhaling the fattiest of fatty foods. #proudcatholicmoment]  Which brings me to the next brainwave...

Lent. 

40 days of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving ... and a season that totally snuck up on me.  It is designed to be such a reverent time of spiritual growth and surrender and repentance, but I juuuuust am a little shell-shocked that it's here knocking on my door ummm...TODAY.   For the first 5/8ths of my life, I definitely experienced a sacrificial Lent through the tradition of the Church.  And that's ok and normal and whatever, but it's not anything exceptional or above and beyond. Then one year at SLU, this really influential priest was talking about how [long story short!] giving things up was like saying "no" and doing something extra was like saying "yes!"  In all the years I said "no":  as soon as Easter came, I would immediately revert back into my old habits of eating chocolate ... drinking soda ... getting on Facebook ... or whatever I "gave up."  Actually, I would pretty much sit by the clock on Easter Eve and wait for it to tick midnight so I could binge scarf some chocolate or click onto Facebook or whatevs. Totally non-productive, and all it did was make me go a little bit insane for 40 days.  But in the few years since I've been saying "yes" and started doing something extra, I continued on with the new-formed habit post-Easter.  More prayer, more Mass, more reading, more being nice to people, more something. So see, it's good and positive and me likey.  [Nothing was "long story short" about that. Oopsie.] 

I've been thinking about this upcoming Lent for a few weeks and constantly mulling over how I could/should/would say "yes" this year.  Never quite got that clear-as-mud answer, but it's time to make a decision so I'm goin' with mah gut: 

• Re-read Catechism of the Catholic Church.  [And also Rediscover Catholicism, which is a classic fave!] I love these books and I love a reminder of "why we do what we do" -- in a dubbed down lay-Catholic form.  I have scrutinized these books from cover to cover several times and not once have they disappointed.  So re-reading?  Definitely do-able.
• Daily Mass.  I have done this once in the past ... 40 days in a row ... and that year was easily my favorite and most fruitful Lent.  BUT I'm scared to make that commitment this year considering 50% of my life is upside down or backwards and my day-sleeping habits are hideous and most of the time I can barely make it home after working 12-hour nights. AKA - I really don't think I could physically stay awake through Mass every day?   Maybe do-able but still questionable.......
• Pray the rosary more often.  And pray it with Brian.  Prayer is a vulnerable thing, and an increase in vulnerability means a deepening in love.  One of the vows we made on the altar was to accept children willfully from God and then raise them responsibly in the Church, so I think it's really important that we can share the fundamentals of our faith together before we open the chapter of making/raising childrensss... :) Do-able times a million forever and ever amen. 

Three ways to say "yes": two definite do-ables and one questionable do-able.  I can deal with dat.  I hope God agrees?

Here's to taking these next 40 days by the horns [the 40 days that will "officially" start after my last bite of this apple pie] and to hoping that this season will help transform us to face the Easter cross! 

...More Lenten thoughts to come when I am once again wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, because that coffee buzz be totes gone now. 

Happy Lent-ing!  :)