On the way to pick up Harper from school:
Me: "You can be something
GREAT when you grow up! ...A teacher, a doctor, a mom, a dog trainer, a
babysitter... What do you think you'll be?"
Scarlett: "Well, I know one thing I'm DEFLY [definitely] not gonna be.............. A BOY!"
Me: .....
While opening the "Guess Who?" game:
"Well, the box says you have to be 6 to play this... You're too old and I'm too little, but.........who cares! Let's just play anyway!"
After [cautiously] talking about a school shooting at dinner one evening:
Scarlett: "Well what will I do if somebody shoots everybody except me and Juliette and I can't take care of her because she's really heavy and I can't pick her up?"
Me: ".....Well, somebody like Grammy or Papa would have to help you..."
Scarlett: "But how would they even know?! Would I call 9-9-1?"
:'( :'(

Randomly, a few weeks after briefly discussing why the kiddos at VBS were very strictly prohibited from wearing white shirts on water fun Friday:
"Mom!!! I'm gonna check 'da radar and see if it's raining today, because you and Daddy have a white shirt on!"
One Sunday morning before Mass:
Scarlett: "Mom, can you pick out my clothes so I can get changed?"
Me: "I'm putting my makeup on, can you ask Daddy for help?"
Scarlett: "I already asked him, but he's just laying on 'da couch wif [with] his armpit hair just...hanging out!"
Me: .....
After sprinting to the car in a mild rain:
"Phew! We made it to 'da car wif-out 'da barella [umbrella]!"

On the way home from picking up a Dewey's pizza:
"Buckle up, everybody! 'Else 'da police might get us and take us to jail! ...And they might even take our peesa [pizza], which would be TERble [terrible] because we are wheely [really], wheeeeeely hungry!"
As I was in the shower:
Scarlett, rushing in: "MOMMMM! Uncle Brantsy is here! I already telled him you are in 'da showa [shower] and he MIGHT not want to come in here..."
Five minutes after said announcement ^^:
Me: "Scarlett, tell Dad to come in here to the bathroom so I can tell him something about food at the concert..."
Scarlett, shout/yelling while walking out of the bathroom: "DADDDDD, come in here, Mom needs you for sump-ing! Brantsy, Mom is still naked, so you stay in 'da kitchen!"
Brant: .....

While being forced to clean up the tornado of toys:
Scarlett: "For my bert-day [birthday] or Christmas, I want, ummm, a Alexis [Alexa] and a magic wand so then I can just tell Alexis to wave it and I won't have to pick up all my stuff!"
Me: "I'll take the same gift for my birthday or Christmas!"
Scarlett: .....
While heating up leftovers for dinner:
Scarlett: "Ughhhhhhh, we're having 'DA SAME FOOD AGAIN??!??!"
Harper: "Scarlett, some kids are homeless and always hungry, they live outside and are so hungry that they just have to make mud pies with grass on top."
Scarlett: ".....Oh. Well do 'dey like it?"
Harper: .....

Randomly:
"Mommy, I know everybody you know except your work friends, right?"
While talking to her iPad -- offline -- on the way to pick out her birthday balloons:
Scarlett: "Hey Siri, is 'da bloon shop open?"
Siri: "To answer that, you'll need to be online."
Scarlett: "Hey Siri, just tell us for real. IS...'DA...BLOON...SHOP...OPEN???"

After getting a flu shot and complaining about a sore leg:
"Just imagine if you break your muscle bone.........is actually what this feels like!"
Randomly:
Scarlett: "Mommy, when I'm all grown up, will you still be my mud-duh [mother]?"
Me: "Yes! But you might not always live in my house, like you might have kids and your own family and want to move out some day, but I'll always be your mother!"
Scarlett: "I'm not gonna get kids. I'm just gonna 'dopt them."
Me: "Oh yeah? Why's that?"
Scarlett: "BECAUSE! Rememba [remember], I telled you, I. DON'T. WANNA. GET. A. HUSBAND."