After a day at the pool:
Brian: *flexing* "WHO HAS THE BIGGEST MUSCLES IN THE HOUSE?!"
Scarlett: "Daddyyyyyy!"
Brian: "Yep! I got those from swimming all day."
Scarlett: "Yep! And Mommy, your muscles aren't wheely [really] big because you only dip yo' feet in 'da pool."
Me: .....
While stomping back to bed after getting in trouble:
"Why awe [are] you guys SO WUDE [rude] at 'da night time?!"
At dinner:
"Pass 'da salmon and pear-a-sis [asparagus]!"
At bedtime:
Scarlett: "Hawpie, tomorrow can I help you open your present from 'da Toof Fairy?"
Harper: "Yes, if I get one you can help. But I think she will just leave a coin and not a present..."
Scarlett: "Well, SOMETIMES she weaves [leaves] presents, Hawpie..."
While driving past a cemetery:
Scarlett: "Dere's more people 'dat died! I hope Daddy doesn't die..."
Harper: "Well, he will some day!"
Me: .....
Before her first visit to the eye doctor:
Scarlett: "When am I going to 'da eye docta?"
Me: "Right before lunch time."
Scarlett: "Is it yike [like] my otha' docta'?"
Me: "No. At this place you just look into some machines and tell them what you can see and then they tell you if you need glasses or not."
Scarlett: "Well, I can see 'da sun..."
Randomly:
Scarlett: "WAIT a minute, are you a Mommy?"
Me: .....
While playing a board game:
Me: "I'm so sad you're big enough to play big girl games and go to Pre-K, sniff sniff..."
Scarlett: "Wellllll, at weest [least] 'da baby will come out and you will still have 'da baby..."
Randomly:
Scarlett: "I telled Katie [babysitter] 'dat some day I am gonna have a new baby in my 'agina!"
Me: .....
While driving past another cemetery:
Scarlett: "Do 'dose dead people eva' come back?"
Me: "No...not to earth..."
Scarlett: "Well what I'm SAYING is, do 'dey EVA' come back?"
Me: .....
Harper: "No Scarlett, they don't! But Mom, then who will start up next when we all go to heaven? Like you know, the dinosaurs were here and then we were here..."
Me: .....
As Brian is building new bunk beds for the girls:
"Mommy, if our house burns down wif 'da bunk beds inside, I will be wheely [really] wheely sad..."
Randomly:
Scarlett: "Hey Seer-wee [Siri], how old do you have to be to go to wook [work]?"
Siri: "They say age is nothing but a number, but technically it's also a word."
Scarlett: .....
Randomly:
Harper: "When the baby comes, I am gonna help change poopy diapers AND pee diapers!"
Scarlett: ".....Wellllllll, I fink [think] I am just gonna change pee-pee di-puhs..."
After being threatened with a spanking at bedtime [clearly contemplating if she wants to continue acting up or not]:
"Wellllll, how hard would da' 'panking be?"
While passing some tall weeds on the side of the road:
"LOOK, Mommy! Dose' are 'da flowers you have at home!"
